S.U.R.P.R.I.S.E.D

was surprised by my own reaction..
had a super interesting conversation with her on msn just now..
had somehow a conclusion..
well i guess i cant never find out who weighs more in her heart..
cos love cant be measured...

most importantly is that i know she loves me..
i can never ensure she can love me forever...tt's y there's no guarrenteed love..
ppl break and part.. but those who stay are ppl who choose to be with each other..
but tt doesnt mean the person is the one tt they love the most..
however..the person is the one tt they wish to be with the most.

silly i am.. im glad im the one she wish to be with the most thou i may or may not be the one tt leaves foot print in her heart...

i know its not easy to remove jealousy..but she doesnt belong to me..yes she may be commited to me..but what's the pt of keeping the person as your gf/bf/husband/wife if she/he doesnt love you any more?

so i rather be the stupid one... letting the one you love to be loved and loves...

i choose to be silly.. i choose to be brave and face this..
it may last for years or it may just end cos if problems within us eventually..
but what ever it is.. i just want her to be happy..

i ever thought of this.. will i be happier if i switch roles with her and let her feel how i feel?
wahha shiok.but nah.. i dunno man...being the the tt 2 person love the most will never understand how me and tt planet feels..

i pity her...for not able to choose what she wants...actually i just hope she's just a st fling.. but..
how can i fling just be ableto end without being able to start?
i even thought of breaking up with her so she can be with her and choose who to be with eventually..
will tt ever work?

pondering..
i still love you...thou you have been inconsiderate towards my feeling.

im a ben nu ren..i used to say ppl tt.. i think im the most foolish gal...
hahahahaah

WHAT AN IRONY!