L.O.S.T

she's back but I'm only happy for a day. I'm retarded. knowing that I'll be unhappy I'll still wanna see the msg. I shouldn't have. lying to myself isn't better?now I know she misses her more. want her in switzerland more... the first person she wish to see is her. what should I do?tell me... tell me how?she said I'm partner for life. but who is she den!??fling for life?am I able to take it?am I able to leave with it for ever?I hate myself for sinking too deep into her. all she can say is that she's a bastard. I totally agree... y can't she cherish me?appreciate me n not break my heart?I dunno how long more can I last... just wanna run away from reality...running away from her,from all that's putting me down. I should love myself more... I deserve some one better... but I know I can never forget her... I can never get her out even if one day I move on